I am constantly awake at times that I should be fast asleep. I “go to bed” very early sometimes, yet hours later I still find myself processing the events of the day, reliving moments, and examining what my tomorrow will look like. My brain simply won’t shut off.
My brother went to high school with a young man that I will call “Joe.” In high school, Joe was one of the funny guys. He always managed to make a joke out of any situation; oftentimes, awkward hilarity was the result. People liked being around him and they knew what they were getting. He seemed to poke fun of everyone—his humor was often at the expense of others, but no one seemed to mind. He wasn’t spiteful. He just seemed to make everything a reason to laugh.
Joe graduated high school and decided to go to a large university on the other side of the state. He went through his freshman year and everything seemed to be going smoothly. Then, mere days after his first year of college was completed, Joe and some friends decided to have some fun and go to a gun range. Joe, during his turn to shoot, turned the gun on himself.
It is impossible for me to speculate on the depths of brokenness that exist within all of us, but the truth remains: every single one of us yearns for something greater than ourselves. We all spend sleepless nights dwelling on our daily events and conversations, yet often these thoughts transcend mere recaps and we begin to ask questions about who we are. We begin to wonder if we were made for something, some greater purpose that exists just beyond our grasp. We begin to question if a greater love exists than the love that we feel from the people around us. We begin to search for answers to deep and profound questions seem to be imprinted in our souls.
Like Joe, sometimes the brokenness becomes too much. It becomes a burden, a hurt, a bane that we cannot overcome. As powerful as the mind is, it cannot remove scar tissue. A person can’t simply convince themselves that the questions of love and life don’t exist. Some of us ignore these questions, at our own peril. Our brains tell us that nothing exists beyond our five senses. Questions about love and purpose are shoved to the bottom and only ever come out in moments of deep pain and suffering. Yet, at the moments of pain, we still cry out to some unknown entity. We still want to know what happens next.
And so, the questions remain: does a greater love exist beyond the love I feel around me? Do I have some deep-seeded purpose that exists beyond my own recognition? Why am I here?
Joe was immediately rushed to the hospital, where he was later pronounced brain dead. His body went through surgery so that his organs could be saved and given to people who need them.
And that’s the choice, isn’t it? We can ignore these questions. We can decide that nothing exists beyond our senses, our brain. But when we ignore our soul’s questions—when we ignore the yearning inside of us—we detach our souls. Our soul searching, our thirst for answers to these questions, must come to the forefront of our being. Our questions must be answered or we run the risk of emotional death before we ever actually die. In the end, it becomes clear that a mind without a soul is brain dead.
It’s time for us to stop ignoring the searching of our souls. It’s time for us to acknowledge that we have deep, passionate yearnings for a love that is greater than the love we experience around us. It is time for us to make a decision to not be brain dead—instead, let us begin a journey in which we seek to answer our questions. Let us begin a journey in which we quench the thirst of our souls. Let us begin to seek something greater than ourselves.
