Facebook/Twitter Users Beware: The Perils of Social Networking

Social media users (like me) need to proceed with awareness and caution.

You know the old adage, “actions speak louder than words.” Thanks to social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and blogging, we need a new one: “words speak louder than action.” Allow me to elaborate.

I haven’t blogged in a while. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say. Rather, quite the opposite. I have had quite a bit of things to opine, whine, and wax eloquently about. I simply lacked a whole lot of motivation to write about such things. For one, others often end up putting my thoughts into better words than I can (hence my constant postings of columns by Nicholas Kristof). Also, I was getting somewhat dejected by the amount of argumentative responses I would receive about certain…um, controversial things I would write about.

So…I watched. I read. People posted statuses and blogs and tweets and links to things they felt were important. And I began to notice a trend in my way of thinking toward people. My opinions toward people would suddenly reflect what their statuses revolved around. Their online presence became a major factor in the overall composite of who I perceived them to be. And, unlike any time in history, we can now “listen” to people (through statuses and updates) daily, or hourly, without ever having to interact with them in person.

In fact, we can feel like we know exactly who someone is without ever seeing them physically interact with the people and world around them. We can form opinions about their communication skills without ever hearing them talk. We can make evaluations about what people value without ever seeing them spend time doing something. And all of this is quite dangerous to our overall impressions of the people around us. Because, the truth of the matter is, actions speak louder than words. But what if we never see people’s actions? What if all we have are words?

A person’s words become their identity to a whole population of people that only interact with them online.

And so, Francis (a made-up name) can spend all of his free time volunteering at a homeless shelter. He can donate most of what he has. He can be one of the most selfless people on the planet. However, if Francis spends all of his online “real estate” (i.e. statuses, tweets, etc.) complaining and whining about others, then a perception will (quickly) grow: Francis hates people.

For the first time in history, words speak louder than action.

Another example: my grandfather is one of the most loving people I have ever met. He gives of his time and money more than anyone I have ever witnessed. In fact, virtually everyone that ends up spending any amount of time with him comes to the same conclusion. He is one of the best examples of selfless living that I’ll probably ever encounter. However, he also sends me quite a few email forwards. These forwards typically consist of very politically-charged diatribes against Pres. Obama. Often, these diatribes border on the absurd. They can be hateful and most of them are utterly fictitious. Let me reiterate that these are not things that my grandpa writes, he just forwards them.

However, if someone on his email forward list never spent time with him, they could get a very strong impression that he hates all Democrats or all liberals. Based on his email forwards, such a conclusion is only natural. But I know this is not the case. I know that 96% (roughly) of my grandfather’s thoughts and time are spent looking for ways to help and love people. But one wouldn’t know that by his email forwards. In a world where online presence can often exist in a vacuum, perception is reality.

An unfortunate side-effect of the social networking that most of us engage in is that it creates a barrier between us and the person with whom we are trying to communicate with. So, instead of erring on the side of niceness and polite conversation, we are more likely to speak more strongly and forcefully, often to the point of speaking much more freely (or meanly) than we ever would in person. In light of everything else I have talked about, this is an incredibly dangerous way of communication. There have been people in my life who are incredibly nice in person; however, as soon as they get online, they can be mean, argumentative, and offensive. If someone’s online communication is more frequent than the “in-person” communication, then it doesn’t take long for the perception of the “online self” to override the perception of the “real-life self.”

All that said, I am incredibly thankful for social networking. If you are reading this, then you probably know that Facebook and Twitter are things I use quite often. There are some incredibly good things that can come about as a result of the flattening of the world because of online media. But, like any form of communication, it must be navigated with care and precision.

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